Thank the Cavemen
by Muffin Is Injured
Summary: Yes, folks, I'm back, with a new What in the World If? fic. What if....no, just picture it... in A Tale of Poes and Fire...things went differently? Yes, I can see you picturing it. It's pretty good, isn't it? JavaJunkie. Now complete! Bring out the keg!
1. Packing Light is For Girls

Hey you! I'm back!

Fortunately for y'all it is SUMMER pour moi, so updating will be more frequent and abundant. Unless I'm not out partying with the homies. You know how that goes.

Okay, sooooooo… I'm very excited for my second fic! And I wanna just thank **the best hunk of solidified mold I know,** for being so amusing and leaving the best reviews. And thanks for all the reviews that YOU WILL BE LEAVING this time. I know you will be.

Hee hee! Okay. So. This is another What in the World If? fic. Including, of course, Lorelai and Luke, the greatest couple since PB and J. Not that I'm that into PB and J. I can only tolerate it occasionally. Bad example. How about… ketchup and, um, the burger? Sounds weird. Well, just take it from me, they're a pretty damn good couple.

So the new question this time comes from the episode A Tale of Poes and Fire, 3-17. What if things went a little DIFFERENTLY? Just guess. Come on, guess.

**Disclaimer:** Okay, so, I own Gilmore Girls! Yep, my name is Amy Sherman-Palladino and I write and own Gilmore Girls. And since it's the summer, and I was bored, what with the show not running currently, I just thought, why don't I go to Fanfiction DOT net and write some fan fic under the penname of Muffin Is Injured? And with logic like that, how could you not believe me?

* * *

**Thank the Cavemen**

Chapter One: Packing Light is For Girls

_Lorelai flashed a nervous smile at the startled Mrs. Slutsky. "My- my inn caught fire."_

_The older woman stared._

'_Hurry, Luke," mumbled Lorelai, tapping her feet irritably._

* * *

Lorelai let out a breath as she heard the jingle of keys and saw the dark outline of Luke's body through the window, followed shortly by his appearance.

"Luke, thank God." Lorelai grabbed her stuff off the floor and entered hurriedly through the diner door.

"So, what's the deal?" questioned Luke as he easily grabbed her bag and pillow.

"Thanks. Well, it's crazy, my amazing entrepreneurial skills finally backfired in my face. The Hattlestats just had to come back and take my room, the last room, away from me, leaving me a homeless wandering vagrant. Sorry to put you out like this, it's a little weird. But I swear it's the last time I come here for an impromptu sleepover."

"It's not a problem," assure Luke as he heaved the bags up the stairs. 'Jesus, what did you put in here? It's just a night."

"Packing light is for girls," informed Lorelai wisely. "And I thought you were, like, Superman when it comes to…lifting stuff."

"It's not that heavy, it's just bigger than I expected."

"Don't be such a wimp. Think big, muscley men thoughts," said Lorelai as she breezed past him and skipped up the stairs.

"I think you've confused me with you there."

* * *

Luke unlocked the door and they made their way inside the apartment. "So, where should I dump your stuff?"

"Hmm… I don't know. Either the bed or the couch. Whichever I'm sleeping on."

"Well, which one do you want?"

Lorelai ignored his question and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge and stroking the covers with her finger. Luke's heart stopped and jumped into his throat for just a second at the irony of that simple movement but then returned to normal. "You've got a nice bed. Really, it's so…soft. Looks so comfortable."

"It is."

"I bet you just fall asleep every night like that-" she snapped- "when sleeping in it."

"I do fall asleep pretty fast," acknowledged Luke, raising his eyebrows.

"Seems pretty cozy, too. I bet you never get nightmares sleeping in this bed," grinned Lorelai, smoothing the covers with her hand.

"Can't remember the last time I've had a nightmare in that bed, true."

"And I also bet-" Luke interrupted her ranting abruptly.

'Lorelai, would you like to take the bed?" he asked patiently.

"Oh!- Why, Luke, thank you, that's a very gracious offer," said Lorelai, smiling in surprise.

"Yeah, well, that's me, I think of everything," said Luke dryly.

* * *

Luke had just gone into the bathroom and Lorelai took the opportunity to change into her pajamas.

She slipped off her pants and pulled on some sweatpants. Pulling off her cardigan and blouse, she had just taken off her bra when she heard the click of the opening bathroom door,

* * *

Luke opened the door just in time to see a shirtless Lorelai whirling around rapidly. "Oh my God!"

"I'm sorry… I should have knocked or something…" Luke was frazzled at the quick glimpse of Lorelai he had gotten. It was brief but emblazoned into his head, and he felt very, very warm all over.

"No, you're not supposed to knock when you leave the bathroom- you knock when you go in one- otherwise it's just weird- I should have… gone faster or…" Lorelai was wincing, her bare back to Luke and her arms wrapped around herself. "Wow, this is awkward, huh?"

"I'll just… go back in…" Luke backed up and closed the bathroom door hurriedly behind him.

* * *

Luke leaned against the door and let out a deep breath. He was expected to sleep with THAT 10 feet away from him? He was only a man, he had so much willpower.

Stop that, he reprimanded himself. You can't think about Lorelai like that. Not just for the obvious reasons- you've got a girlfriend. But his efforts to banish the flash of Lorelai he had seen from his restless mind were futile. Breathe, breathe. Nicole. Remember her. Girlfriend.

Lorelai's… STOP! Think about something else, anything else. Puppies. Think about them. Don't like puppies. All slobbery, biting up everything they see. Annoying little rodents. Think about…pool. Yeah, that's good. Pool. It's… got a green table. With all these poles and balls and stuff. And you rack up scores, right? Rack… Luke mentally slapped himself. You little pervert.

* * *

Lorelai paused for a second after the door close and then exhaled. That was very weird. If Luke had seen anything… that would be embarrassing. She wondered what he was doing in the bathroom right then. She slipped on a long sleeved shirt, and then a guitar shirt. She wasn't taking any chances.

* * *

Luke was still breathing heavily and had moved on the thinking about pirates and their golden chests when he heard a yell from the adjacent room. "Uhm, you can come out if you want now. I'm fully clothed."

_That's too bad._ Luke pushed open the door and gave her a lopsided smile. "Sorry about before."

"Oh, it's perfectly fine."

"Okay, good." He cleared his throat, trying force the sound of his previous arousal from it. "Do you want some tea or something?"

"How 'bout some coffee?"

"It's way too late for coffee," commanded Luke.

"Luke, my inn just caught fire. I had to organize places for people to stay and breakfast and Michel and then I was kicked out of my own home, I wandered the streets for a little, and then I accidentally flashed you. I think I deserve coffee for all that."

Luke sighed. "One cup and that's it. But this is a special occasion and don't count on it happening ever again."

"Aye aye, Capt'n," said Lorelai, saluting solemnly.

* * *

Stopping there now because I am tired. I know, you thought I was superhuman and I could stay up as late as I wanted and whatnot. Sorry to dash your dreams this way. I need beauty sleep to keep me as gorgeous and irresistible as I am.

Sorry that was a kind of weird chapter. I'm feeling the 'second fic pressure,' you know, with people reading this who haven't read my first fic and being all 'eugh' or like not appreciating my past and everything. --COUGH COUGH READ MY FIRST ONE COUGH COUGH-- Sorry, terrible cold going around.

So. I just want to tell you NOT TO REVIEW! Because what writer wants feedback? Seriously.

For all the less quick, I'm joking, so please review. Yeah, I'm very funny that way, I know.


	2. Serious Face: Its the Serious Chapter

Sorry bout the long wait. You see… I was just sitting down to write this the split second I posted the first part… and, then, well…. It's a really, really funny story, actually. Seriously, I just crack up every time I hear it. Or think about it. Ha. See, there's the laughter! What? No, I am not stalling because I don't have a legitimate excuse for my absence!

I don't understand myself! I'm back to the weird-noise-making while reading reviews. What is WRONG with me? That is, like, soooo last fic.

**Swiss Baby:** Wouldn't it be cooler if you were from Switzerland so I could call you Swiss cheese and I would seem SO clever? Anyway, I can't BELIEVE I forgot that cheese and cake are the best combination! I don't know where I was that day. Probably... somewhere else. Can't think of a witty response there. Hey, I ate cremebrulee cheesecake yesterday! I'd like to say "...and I thought of you the whole time..." but the truth is, I didn't. It was too good to focus on anything else. Sorry. Those Poes were uber creepy. Please do tell me when I begin to become crap, because no one else I know has offered. I'd appreciate it. No drinking and driving? Damn, guess I'll have to change my plans tonight. I love the way you never seem to mention my story while reviewing for more than a line.

**live2tivo:** I read both of those books! I thought only the Pyes did the "I" check thing. Oh wait, I didn't read the Moffats. Oh wait, I did read one of the Moffats' books. Now I'm confused. I love that you love my a/n's because they are like my precious children, even more so than the fic almost. You're a novelist, ey? Well, you can use my line. I'm generous that way.

**Rusty Bedsprings:** I know you are- in fact, I am following it eagerly. You haven't updated in, like, 40 years, give or take. UPDATE dammit because yours is SOOOOO good! It's more dirty than mine, I'm too much of a good girl to write dirty.

**L/L r Lobsters:** I reviewed your fic, so keep reviewing mine. This is a give-take relationship, mkay? And OMG I despiiiise the short reviews! I mean, sure, I would rather get short reviews from people than none at all, but how is "great story!" "Lol love it!" going to help me? But hey, they boost my ego. Write the poes fic you were talking about, because I love this episode. I mean, that's why I'm writing about it. I write my fics based on what EYE think the masses would want to read, aka ME. I get confused whenever I think of this...is the lobster thing from Friends? Right right? Or not? When Phoebe was talking about lobsters holding claws and whatnot...

**Oywiththepoodlesalready:** See, I even took the time to write the exact same number of exclamation points you did. Sorry you're slowly losing life every second I have a social life. I love writing about the moments that SHOULD have happened, it's always been my favorite thing. I hate the way completely stupid things stall them and their relationship could have started if only the stupid bird could have stayed hidden or Dean could have solved his own problem without whining to Lorelai mid-picnic. Please, I am updating, so refrain from involving Joe and Timmy.

**Hmmm…: **You reviewed on Safety Dance but as I had no chance to counter your review there I decided to do so here. The cyber-back-rub was nice but a little awkward, as you said. Lovin' the word ramblacious! And my heart is a-flutter with the breathtaking ASP praise because that woman is a total goddess. Hopefully you are reading this because that means you're reading this fic which means I have one more reader which means I have one more rice grain of self respect for myself.

**Lorelaielizabeth halliwell: ** Me appreciates your reviews because me is like that. Me finds Jess being your daddy slightly disturbing.

Waaaaaa! No one else leaves me long reviews. Sorry, guys, no pain, no gain.

Oh yeah… **I don't own Gilmore Girls**. Or Silly Putty. But I wish I owned Gilmore Girls. And Silly Putty.

* * *

**Thank the Cavemen**

Chapter Deux: The Serious Chapter. Serious Face.

Lorelai and Luke were sitting at the table each drinking their respective beverages, coffee and tea. You can guess who was drinking which.

Lorelai sighed. "I can't actually believe that my inn caught fire! It's, like, so freaky. Something that happens to someone else. Stuff like this isn't ever supposed to happen to YOU, it happens to other people."

"Yeah, well, it happens to someone, and to someone, it's happening to themselves."

"What?"

"You know, if it happens to someone else, to them, it's happening to them, and then they'd be all, this should happen to someone else, not me."

"Exactly! It should be happening to that person, not me," explained Lorelai.

"Yeah, but to that person, they're me."

"They're you?" questioned the perplexed Lorelai.

"What?"

"Your inn didn't catch fire!

"Of course my inn didn't catch fire! I don't even own an inn!" said Luke, exasperated.

"Exactly, so it can't catch fire! Man, that would be weird, if both of our inns caught fire, wouldn't it?"

"Lorelai, I don't OWN an inn!"

"Well, you brought it up.

"I did not!"

"I'm confused now," sighed Lorelai. Just then the phone rang; Luke groaned and got up, and Lorelai wandered over to the couch and sat down.

"Hello? Oh, hey, Nicole."

Lorelai shifted her eyes down awkwardly and took a sip of her coffee_. That's a little weird_. She wondered how Nicole would react to the news of her sleepover with Luke.

"Not much. The local inn caught fire, it was a whole to-do…Yeah, that's the one she works at."

Lorelai's eyebrows rose. Was the first thing Nicole mentioned at the news of a fire Lorelai? Why did she care?

"Nope, everyone's okay, no injuries. How was your meeting?... Yeah, tomorrow's good, tell me then. But it's good news?... Very good news, even better… Well, you'll have to wait till tomorrow to tell me. But it sounds exciting…Will do…Goodnight."

Lorelai turned to Luke with surprise as he hung up. "Was that Nicole?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why didn't you tell her I was here?"

Luke shrugged. "Dunno. It didn't come up."

"Oh, so she forgot to ask "Is Lorelai sleeping over?" like she usually does every night? Very odd of her."

"It's not a big deal. It's not like she needs to know or anything."

"Well, this is completely innocent," reminded Lorelai. "You're just helping me out. Do you think it'd make a difference if you told her?"

"No, it's just…" He sighed and came over to her, sitting on the couch. "Nicole is a little… touchy when it comes to you."

That surprised Lorelai a lot. Nicole jealous of her? If anything, it would be the other way around. "What? Why?"

"Well… on our first date, I was kinda nervous, not having dated much recently." He shifted his mug of tea around in his hands. "I wasn't sure what to talk about, so I was just babbling, you know, and then Nicole ordered extra fries, which reminded me of you. So I told her a story about you and French fries, you know, the one where you got the entire diner to stick fries up their noses and sing "I am the Walrus"…"

"Ah, a classic anecdote…" grinned Lorelai, remembering.

"And she laughed, so I thought that seemed okay. And then later, she ordered a third cup of coffee…"

"Ugh, Luke, you didn't…"

"So I told her about you and your coffee addiction…"

"You did!" she moaned.

"…and Nicole seemed to kind of react to that. Ever since then, she's been a little weird about our friendship."

She sighed. "Luke, you cannot, under ANY circumstances, talk about another woman on a first date."

"But what if they're just a friend?"

"Women friends don't exist, bucko."

"So you don't exist?" asked Luke, a little perturbed by her comment. "What is this,_ When Harry Met Sally_?"

"Aside from the fact that I need to mock you later for having seen that movie, I'm talking about first dates. I don't exist on a first date. No women do."

"Not even my mother?"

"If you're talking about your mother, the date is probably going to end there."

"Good point. So, I can't talk about women friends on first dates?" confirmed Luke.

"Right, because then the girl will get jealous, like Nicole is of me."

"I still don't get it, though. Why does she care if I have women friends? Why does she just assume...?"

"She probably thinks something along the lines of, 'Cute girl, cute guy, friends- must be in love.' It's crazy yet true." Awkward conversation. Awkward, awkward, awkward.

"It's kind of annoying," Luke said. "I mean, don't they find it at all possible that two people of the opposite sex can be friends and nothing more?" I'm sure it is possible, for some people. Somewhere. On Mars, maybe.

"The whole town is crazy too, they think the same kind of things."

"Yeah," said Luke. "They think we're in love or something."

"Crazy people."

"Yeah," agreed Luke.

Long, extremely awkward pause.

Little bit longer.

"Hey, can you set the alarm clock? I have to wake up uber early tomorrow," said Lorelai suddenly. _Thank God for my professional subject-changing skills._

"How early?" asked Luke, grabbing the clock.

"Six."

"Luxury. I get up at quarter to five."

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"Maybe to do this think I call 'running my business.'"

"Get a new business," advised Lorelai.

"Then where would you get the coffee?"

"Good point," said Lorelai, who was just about to get up to go to the bed. "Woah, déjà vu," she said, sitting back down.

"What?"

"I just had this dream once that you set, like, 18 alarm clock to wake me up, which, though torturous, is not a bad method."

"Where were we?" asked Luke, and all of a sudden the two feet of air between the two became very strange. Lorelai had dreamed about Luke.

"Um… at my house. I came downstairs, and you were making breakfast, and you hid the real coffee and replaced it with decaf, but I found the hard stuff anyhow, and you talked to my stomach…" Her mouth twitched at the memory.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I was pregnant." Pause. "With twins." Pause. "You called them Sid and Nancy, but then I told you I wanted Leopold and Loeb."

"You were pregnant with my twins?" It took a second for this to sink in. Plus he was thinking about the process he and Lorelai would have to endure to get her in such a situation.

"Yeah, I'm not a dream tramp."

"We were married?" His mind was now officially Silly Putty.

"Um, yes. Didn't I say that?"

"No." The corner of his mouth rose slightly.

"Well, we were."

They both gazed at each other for a few long moments, for some reason not looking away.

"You really shouldn't drink coffee while you're pregnant."

Lorelai smiled. Typical Luke. "I know."

"Probably why Rory's a caffeine aficionada."

"Big word, and yeah, you're probably right."

"What else happened in the dream?" he asked, still staring into her eyes.

"Well…"

Both heads turned as the door opened with a squeak.

"Luke, I've got champagne…" Nicole stopped short as she saw Lorelai and Luke sitting close on the couch.

"Nicole…" stuttered Luke. "You're- you're back."

"I was going to surprise you with my news," she said faintly.

"Nicole-" Luke stood up.

"So I was right. You were cheating on me with her."

"Nicole, that's not true…"

"I knew it. You've been too in love with her to ever really care about me. I shouldn't have listened to you telling me how you were 'just friends.' That's bull." Nicole's voice rose with every word."

"Nicole, I just…" cut in Lorelai.

"Shut up. Luke, how could you do this?"

"I am not cheating on you! Lorelai has no place to stay tonight so she's staying here."

"However true that may or may not be, that doesn't change the fact that you're in love with her. I was just talking to you. I was in the car on the way here. And I don't recall you ever mentioning your little slumber party."

"Because I knew you'd react like this!" yelled Luke.

"Like you were in love with her? You are, Luke! That's why I'm reacting like this! You've never been invested in our relationship. You're always watching Lorelai, or talking about her, or thinking about her, or fixing her porch, or giving her chocolate chips in her pancakes. I mean, hell, did you think I didn't _hear_ you when you called me Lorelai during sex last night?"

Luke cringed and covered his beet red face with his hands. "I was just-"

"Wow, this is the kind of conversation you'd usually have when I wasn't here, don't you think?" asked Lorelai in a complete fluster. What had Nicole just said?

"I came here tonight to talk to you. To see if we could fix this. I was going to tell you that I got a job in Los Angeles and I wanted you to come with me."

"Nicole, you know I can't do that-"

"I don't even want you to anymore, Luke. I was in denial; I thought this would just go away. But I know it wont. You love her so much more than you could ever love me."

"I don't know where any of this is coming from," said Luke, frazzled. "We were doing just fine."

"I don't hear you denying it, Luke," said Nicole quietly and coldly.

The ticking of the clock was the only sound that filled the room.

"That's what I thought." Nicole walked towards the door.

"Nicole-" Luke made one final, desperate plea.

"I hope you two are very happy together" was the last thing Nicole spat out before she closed the door, walking out of the diner and out of their lives.

* * *

Awkward's an awkward word, isn't it? I noticed that while writing it repeatedly. Awkward awkward awkward awkward awkard awkward awkward awkward. Doesn't even seem like a word anymore, does it? Awkward awkward awkward awkward awkward. Okay, I'm done. 


	3. Ill Come Back Later

I'm updating surprisingly speedily. I'm gonna have extra time this week, so let's dance! And on reviews- I love this! It's giving me such a confidence boost that by the time I'm done I'm so sure I'll be a snotty, stuck-up know-it-all who thinks she is better than everyone and the world is lucky that she's graced it with her mere presence.

**Okay, first, addressing everyone….**

Glad you share my thoughts on awkwardness! I mean, TWO w's? What word has TWO w's in it? I mean, besides wow, which is more of an exclamation than a word. I mean, sure, it's a word, but it barely counts. It's, like, a noise.

And like all of you said Nicole was a huge twist. The sad truth is, I didn't really realize how big of a twist it was till you guys said so. I didn't even think of it as a twist, it just kinda came to me and I was like, 'Okay then, why not?' But I have no trouble taking the credit and pretending I'm a complete genius.

So many of you mentioned the name-during-sex thing. I just put it in because it amused me and would embarrass Luke to no ends. And because it was AWKWARD. Hey, that looks ever awkwarder in caps.

YAYAYAYAYAYAY! I'm totally jazzed by this next part. I don't know if it was a fluke or if people actually do listen to my rambles, but practically everyone who reviewed left a long review or at least a longer-than-the-norm review! I love that! I love it like you don't believe! And so I say thank you to all you guys who did that. I mean, I know some people address certain people and then say 'Thanks to all reviewers' to the rest but they don't really mean it, but I seriously seriously do. I love reviews so much, and long ones? They just send me through the roof. I'm so serious, I love you ALL with a burning, fiery passion. This whole a/n is going to be really long because of all this.

**Labyrinth:** I really, really hate it when people put the script in. I tried to change all the words, at least a LITTLE bit. Because I want to keep what would have stayed the same the same! I refrain as much as possible from using the script, I swear! Sorry if I didn't do too good of a job. By the way I LOVE the movie Labyrinth.

**Lenina Crowne: **gasps Please, anything but following me saying 'awkward' a lot! My worst nightmare come true.

**L/L r Lobsters:** Aw, I love that episode! I'm not a Friends-fanatic but this is the weird thing- I had this minor obsession for Friends, and then I became obsessed, like REALLY obsessed, with Full House, and then I added Who's the Boss to that list, and then I added Gilmore Girls, and then the other two obsessions phased out into just normal likes. Friends paved the way for my true obsession, Gilmore. Okay, I don't think you really care about that because you don't know me, so I'll shut up there. I'll try to review your other story- I read it before but didn't review. And please, post your Poes one because I'm a whore for good L/L fics. Surprisingly I'm not into post finale fics because… I don't know, they're all just gonna end up being 'Oh Lorelai, yes, I love you let's go for it' and I don't want to read that. I want to know what really happens because it won't be as straight forward as that, knowing ASP's style.

**Hmmmmmm**: DEGRASSI! Man, I love that show. Hehe. It's so funny and… Canadian. 'I'm sore-y, but I don't know what you're talking a-boot.' I love that. Intense. I actually like the idea of a cyber-jig. I'm always up for jiggage. Too bad about that creepy room and pesky ostracized soup-laden elf.

**Lukelainroryndean**: I actually laughed when I read about you turning away. I love that.

**LLjunkie:** Ooh! Silly Putty! Nice bribe there.

**Bambie McBimbo: **I know where your penname is from! 3-02, Application Anxiety. Rory is too scared to talk to Harvard guy on the phone so she makes Lorelai do it and she talks in this really breathy whore voice so Rory says she'll be expecting Chilton senior Trixie McBimbo- and Lorelai says, "And her mother, Bambi McBimbo!" That is so weird because on a different website (not fanfic or Gilmore, though) my name is Trixie McBimbo! I squealed when I saw your name. I'll answer your other question further down… ooh, intrigue. Look for your name.

**Live2tivo: **I remembered that part about them Pyes. And you're the only one who commented on the chapter title, so thank you, because I myself found it amusing.

**Totaltvjunkie:** Aw, thankya. I liked the begin rambling part too. And my previous story. I think you reviewed there a while ago, I remember you! That was sufficiently long, thank you.

**Dixiechick:** Although I'm not a Dixie chick like you, it bugs me when people spell y'all wrong, too.

**Ocdwithlhg: **Hehe. Next time drink coffee, that's a great visual. Not that I know what you look like. I'll just pixilate your face like they did when Janet Jackson had her wardrobe malfunction and laugh. (Déjà vu, I said that to **LuvzAFunEThing** in my old story.) Since you are now my friend, I'll give you some friendly advice- update. If you don't update, our conversations will get a little less friendly, if you know what I mean.

**Mudhousejunkie224**: Those are called ellipses. And I actually went into the dictionary, found awkward, and found the description of that very scene! Go figure.

**Oywidapoodles:** 'Aquard?' Ha! You're right about the similarities, but remember- Lorelai loved Luke and had innocent intentions with Chris, while Luke didn't love Nicole and had more-than-innocent intentions with Lorelai. Oooh!

No **cheese** this time. Shame.

Thanks to you, **StephieM**, I'm sitting alone in my living room saying 'battle battle battle battle battle' repeatedly. No need to introduce me to your white-coated friends- I have my own! They put this really pretty jacket on me every day and help me go to sleep.

And everyone…** Bambie McBimbo** posed this question- what does the story title mean? Well, good friends, here's the answer- the cavemen discovered fire, no? And fire is what led to the compromising position between Lorelai and Luke. Without those guys, this never would have happened. We have a lot to owe to them.

Sorry about the frighteningly long a/n, I'm just extra loquacious today (not that I'm not always loquacious). I'll be back to normal next time probably.

* * *

**Thank the Cavemen**

Chapter Three: I'll Come Back Later

The room was completely silent.

Lorelai was in complete shock.

Luke couldn't feel his face.

The clock kept ticking, like a really, really obnoxious time bomb or something. It filled both their ears to the point that they wanted to scream.

Lorelai wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry or faint or run out of the diner shrieking at the top of her lungs.

"I- uh… spilt coffee," piped up Lorelai lamely. She had dropped her coffee cup at Nicole's mention of her and Luke's… bedroom antics.

"Oh," replied Luke intelligently. They stood for a few more seconds. "I should, uh… clean that up." He disappeared hastily around the wall and into a cupboard.

Lorelai heaved a deep sigh and leaned back onto the couch cushions. Her mind was swarming. Mostly with the word 'love.' The word was too big too fit inside her brain yet it kept pushing and shoving, as if to say, 'Here's one thing you just can't ignore until in goes away.' This was unusual for Lorelai, whose favorite tactics for dealing with anything was ignorance. Her personal motto was practically 'Ignorance is bliss.' But the huge word simply wouldn't let her. It kept prodding her. Talk, talk, talk.

Lorelai's head jerked up nervously as Luke reentered the room with a bottle of cleaning fluid and a rag. He was bending down to scrub the spot, buying them a couple more minutes of awkwardness, when Lorelai's arm reached out suddenly and grabbed his wrist. "Wait," she said softly. He dared to look up into her eyes. "Let's talk."

Luke nodded his head anxiously and sat next to her, twisting the rag in his hands. The silence was overwhelming.

"So. Nicole," prodded Lorelai. She guessed she was going to have to be the forceful one here, because Luke looked like he was paralyzed or in a block of ice.

"Yeah," answered Luke helpfully.

"Luke, what was she talking about?" Lorelai was almost scared of the answer but she needed to know.

Luke stole a glance at Lorelai through the corner of his eye. He couldn't read her. What was she thinking? He wished he knew; it would make his answer so much easier.

"I… I don't know," he choked out.

Lorelai's eyebrows rose. "You don't know?"

Luke remained silent.

"Luke, was what she said true?"

"Which part?" he stalled.

"All of it."

"I- there is- there may have been… certain aspects of truth to some parts of… what she said about a select number of things," he answered.

"Like which parts?" pressed Lorelai.

Luke suddenly turned to her. "Lorelai, what do you want me to say?"

Lorelai was taken aback. "I- I'm not sure," she answered honestly. On one hand, him saying Nicole had actually escaped from a mental asylum and was emotionally unstable would mean that their comfortable relationship would go back to normal. But if Luke said that Nicole was right, it would open a whole new door for her and Luke. It would jeopardize their friendship, but it might be worth it. She wasn't sure how she felt or what she wanted anymore.

Luke closed his eyes. Ah, what the hell. It was just his life. "It was… true."

"All of it?" confirmed a suspicious Lorelai.

"Yeah."

"Even the part where…"

"Yes, that part too. That was…_very_ embarrassing. I just… that day I was thinking about…" He sighed. "I'm going to try and refrain from talking about that ever again."

Lorelai let out a tiny smile but stayed silent. She didn't know what to think. Luke had feelings for her. It was all true. The question was- how did she feel?

Luke watched her sit, frozen, and all of a sudden he felt like a jackhammer was drilling into his stomach. She didn't feel the same way. He had just bared his soul to her, and she didn't feel the same way.

"You know what- I'm lying," he blurted out suddenly.

Lorelai looked up. "What?"

"I was just kidding. I don't have feelings for you."

"Luke, wha-" Lorelai was stunned.

"Nicole is crazy, I don't know what she was talking about. And I've never said your name while having sex with anyone."

"Luke, wha- but you just said-"

"I know what I said. I just decided it wasn't true."

"You're acting crazy!"

"Not anymore I'm not!"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because it makes more sense this way. We can go back to normal."

"Back to normal? Luke, what is wrong with you?"

"Since you obviously don't feel how I- how I _don't_ feel- we can just go back to being friends this way." Luke got down on the floor and began scrubbing the coffee stain with a vigor rarely seen during cleaning outside of the Tanner household.

Lorelai stared. Luke wanted to forget this had ever happened? Lorelai couldn't do that. And she realized that she didn't want to.

"Luke. Luke." Luke was still attacking the floor with the rag. "Luke." She reached down and grabbed the rag out of his hand.

Luke looked up with a wildly nervous look on his face. Lorelai had taken his security blanket- well, security rag. "What are you doing, I'm cleaning the coffee-"

Luke didn't even have time to finish his sentence before Lorelai tipped up his chin and kissed him softly.

Luke's body immediately reacted, kissing her back. Lorelai's hand was on his face and the other was on his knee. Luke's hands were tangled in Lorelai's hair as he opened her mouth with his, sliding his tongue inside.

The door opened and Jess came in. He took one look at the couple. "I'll come back later," he said, and the door closed again behind him.

Lorelai and Luke kept on kissing, Luke pushing her back against the sofa. Lorelai let out a deep moan and pulled back a little, her eyes down, lashes fluttering. She could feel Luke's ragged breath against her face. Her mouth curled into a tiny smile. "I'm sorry you feel that way about us, Luke, because I don't." Her eyes slid up to his.

Luke moved his hands down to her waist, pulled her up to standing, and landed his mouth on hers again forcefully. Lorelai raked her fingers up and down Luke's chest, letting out soft moans. Luke pulled her towards him, sliding his hands up the back of Lorelai's shirt and caressing her skin. Lorelai began to lift Luke's shirt.

"Mmmm, Luke," murmured Lorelai.

Luke grabbed her arms. "Lorelai… maybe we should take some… some time…" It was hard to concentrate with Lorelai's hands massaging his stomach.

"Luke, I want this." She leaned back and pulled off her own shirt.

Luke was incapable of speech. "Time is overrated," he mumbled. Lorelai smiled and pulled him towards the bed.

* * *

Mkay, chapter over. Sorry it's kinda short. Well, you viewed it, now it's time to _re_view it. 


	4. Where Have Your Pants Gotten To?

Hey! Look at me! I'm updating, look! It's so fast! I just updated yesterday! Man, I'm so excited! I feel like I'm back in my first fic! Wheeee! I feel like writing a song or something. Or swing dancing. Man, I wish I could swing dance.

I don't know if this is just me and my weirdness, but you know all those fics that have an entertaining plea for reviews involving 'pressing a pretty purple/blue/gray button?' Well, my button's not any color (dirty!). It's just white. And square. And boring. Is there something wrong with me? Literally every fic that mentions the review button describes it as some color! (still all sounds dirty…) But seriously, folks. Am I the only one?

**totaltvjunkie:** I love Full House so much. It helps me slip into denial about life because it's so sunshiny. Sigh. I love that. Yeah, I hate the pouring of the souls because it so doesn't happen that way. I love writing Luke because he's hilarious. How do you know that my wit and humor isn't as dangerous and crack? It's just as powerful, man.

**L/L r Lobsters:** Sorry about the midget chapter. That last chapter was soo hard to write; it took me so long it felt like the chapter was, like, 24 miles long. I didn't really mean to make this one shorter- it just came out that way because there wasn't stuff leading up to it, like They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They? set up for me. And have you POSTED your Poes story? Post it, dammit! I want to read it! There's no such thing as an annoying ramble in my book. I mean, just look at mine.

**Labyrinth:** Ha… put those windshield wipers back on! I know my great weakness is my shortness (dirty!). That is, chapter shortness.

**Epona9009:** I loved my Jess's reaction- glad you did too. Reactions may be interesting, yes…. Thanks for the rambles, I always appreciate.

**Beautifulbutterfly:** This crazy girl called Hayley sent me a long (not that long but quite long) review. Thanks, I love my A/N's like they're my children, so I'm just grinning silly when I get a compliment on 'em.

**Rusty Bedsprings:** Yeah, yeah, I know I'm a literary genius, but enough about me. Ebert, Ebert, Ebert. Where are YOUR Poe story updates? Seriously, you're story is one of my favorites and I want it updated PRONTO! I update mine! Why do you not update yours? Come on come on! Just a teeny little update to appease the masses?

**Gidget89: **I don't know if foil was the right word. Although I am a genius, as previously stated, I should read the dictionary more often. Like Urkle. God, that kid is annoying. But let's pretend it is the word so we can have long, in-depth conversations about foil and people will think, "Wow, look at those people using the word foil and not referring to aluminum or math properties! They must be so smart!" And then we'll be popular. I hate it when people use Luke as a foil (…) because Luke is one of the most knee-slapping characters there is. Sorry, just didn't want to use the word 'funny.' I'm experimental like that (dirty!). It's okay, I'm an attention-seeking whore too. Hell, do you wonder why I ASK for long reviews? More of people telling me how great I am, that's why!

**Lukelaiandroryndean:** Congratulations! You officially have the longest review. At first I thought it would be a tie between you and **Gidget89**, but then you prevailed by just one line. Good thing you like that song so much. It was pretty nerve-racking, lemme tell you. I was practically shaking as I held my fingers to the screen and measured the distances- one time, two times, just to make sure. Thanks for all the props, I'm just lousy with props now. Don't know what to do with them all. I might just sell them on Ebay or something, make a few extra bucks. –gasp- My rambles _entertain_? I never knew this. So, now you can say YAYA! I love saying that.

**Lynn:** I'm happy my writing is fabulous enough to entice someone to retreat out of their lurking behavior and leave a review. Why do you hate Jess so much? I'm not saying I'm a Literati obsesser, I'm not really a Literati person too much. But I do find Jess an amusing character. And if I ever come across the necessity to write him, I try to make him less… well, for lack of a better term, bitchy to Rory's feelings. Hehe. I made you hate me. That's so great.

**Ocdwlhg:** Not arguing with anything you said. I'm a national treasure, really.

**Cheesepuff**, where are you? No reviews this chapter OR last chapter? Cake is great, but it can only go so far without its cheese.

A relatively short author's note! Hoopah! Now, on with it.

* * *

**Thank the Cavemen**

Chapter Four is it Now? Woopchay for That: Oh, Boy

Luke's eyes fluttered open and he felt the weight of a head on his chest.

His skin was tingling from the sheer unbelievability of it all. He couldn't get it through his mind that he finally had slept with the unattainable Lorelai Gilmore.

Lorelai's soft hair was spread over his chest. He knew it was cliché, but he really could 'smell the sweet scent in her gorgeous locks' if he bent his neck forward a little. Her left arm fingered the edge of his waist and her right was bent under herself. The sheets were rumpled, and Lorelai's interesting angle of choice landed her legs hanging off the cramped bed's edge from the knee down. She didn't seem to mind, though, as she slept peacefully, her breath stirring the hair on Luke's chest.

Luke was just starting to realize how fast it went last night. He didn't really get to hear how she felt. The second she kissed him, his brain decided to give the two a little privacy and scamper off.

He was just debating whether it was worth it to wake her up when Lorelai gave a moan and fell off the bed with a wrangled shriek as she hit the floor. Luke rolled over and stuck his head over the edge of the bed with a lopsided grin slung across his face.

"Geez, buddy, you have to get a bigger bed. Or softer floors," she grumbled up at Luke's protruding head as she propped herself up on her elbow, clutching the sheets up around her chest.

"Believe me, it's occurred to me before," informed Luke. "I've obtained many a bruise from this thing." He reached out a hand and she stumbled back up, perching on the middle of the bed with the sheets wrapped around her.

"We never really got a chance to talk," Luke managed to force out after a few seconds.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I just… I don't know, my body just took over my brain. It's mutiny, I'll have to have a talk with myself later about that."

Luke decided to throw himself out there. "Well, you know how I feel about the situation. I never got to hear your extensive feelings on it."

Lorelai let out another quirky little smile. "Don't you think you can infer from my actions how I feel about you? I think I was _prit_-ty clear last night." She stroked his scruffy cheek quickly with one hand.

"Humor me," he said dryly. He was going to hear her say it, dammit, if it took him all night- morning- whatever it was.

Lorelai sighed. "Okay. I- have had some feelings for you, for a while. I guess I just wasn't coming to terms with them." Playing with the hair on his chest, not looking up steadfastly. "I guess I didn't want to screw up our friendship. Okay, there. Your turn."

"You already heard how I feel."

"From Nicole. Not as sexy hearing it from her."

Luke's turn to sigh. "Okay. I've had feelings for _you_ for quite some time now." Playing with a lock of her hair, not looking up determinedly. "I didn't think you'd feel the same way, and it would just ruin things how they were now. So I chose to keep quiet."

"We sound like the perfect couple already. Heart to heart in the US of A, might I add."

Luke threw her a weird glance.

"Full House reruns were on when I turned on the TV yesterday," she apologized. "It has this addictive quality to it. Not to mention that Uncle Jesse is hot."

"Right, right," mused Luke.

"Sooooo…" she said, drawing out the 'o' languidly. "What now? Are we dating? Are we in a relationship? Are we secret lovers?"

"I'm serious about you," Luke managed to say. It was a little hard, considering he was not big on expressing his feelings. It was a little too poofy for him, personally.

Lorelai smiled and laced her fingers with his on his knee. This was all very surreal. "Then I guess we're on the same page." She leaned in and kissed him gently, running her tongue along his bottom lip. Lorelai sat back with a content look on her face. "Mmmm. Incredibly delicious. Total Coelo was right."

Luke looked around suddenly. "Hey, whatever happened to Jess?"

* * *

Luke and Lorelai walked downstairs, Lorelai in a flannel shirt and Luke in his sweatpants, to find a snoring Jess with his feet up on a chair and his head on a table. His hand rested on an open book on the table, _Turn of the Screw,_ whose pages where dog-eared and covered in scribbles.

"He look so innocent when he's sleeping," whispered Lorelai ruefully.

Luke stared down on the sleeping boy. "Yeah, he does." Hmm, paternal pride. That's a new feeling.

Lorelai stared outside. "Hey, Luke, what time is it?"

He glanced at his watch. "'Bout 5:30. Why?"

Just that second, the diner door flew open to reveal Kirk.

"Geez!" said Jess, jerking awake, startled at the slam and the jingling of the bells.

Kirk stared at the couple. "Lorelai, may I ask where your pants have gotten to?"

"Kirk, what are you doing here? It's 5:30!" Lorelai said, exasperated.

"Luke, isn't it a health code violation to cook without a shirt?"

"I'm not cooking because the diner isn't open yet! Go home, Kirk!" grumbled Luke.

"Lorelai, isn't it a little early for you to be over here?"

Lorelai heaved a deep sigh.

There was about… oh, 20 or so seconds of silence until Kirk elicited a gasp. "Oh, my God."

"Kirk…"

Kirk ran out of the diner screaming at the top of his lungs. "Miss Patty! Miss Patty! Babette! Miss Patty! Oh, boy!"

Luke sighed as the door jangled closed behind the maniac sprinting down the streets of Stars Hollow before sunrise as best he could without wheezing. Farther down, he saw Kirk bend over, resting his hands on his knees, and appearing to be breathing heavily, before getting back on his merry way.

Jess had an interesting smirk on his face. "So do you think we'll be going on double dates now?"

"Shut up, Jess," growled Luke.

"At the movies, sharing two tubs of popcorn?"

"Goodbye, Jess."

"Who foots the bills at the fancy restaurants? Probably you, you're older. Or maybe we could pitch in and share the costs. What about holidays? Individual gifts, or just one really big one?" he called up the stairs at the disappearing figures. Jess leaned back on his chair in the empty diner and chuckled. He picked up his book and began to read. "Kids."

* * *

Cupcake points to whoever knows what Total Coelo means and why I referenced it there. I'd actually be surprised if anyone got it. I wouldn't even get it if someone asked me, I just thought about because I happened to be listening to that song at that exact moment. Oops, gave away a clue.

Yeah, I know it should be brownie points. But I'm trying to mix it up, giving you something new to entice you. Away from the mundane brownie and into the new age of the cupcake!

This chapter is kinda short. I didn't mean for it to be this short. But I don't know, it just sort of wrapped itself up right there. I'll update soon, promise. Either tomorrow or Thursday, or Friday if I'm busy. So. You know what to do.


	5. Footsied Terror

So here I am. The sad thing about fast updates is that I get fewer reviews. I held out a little bit to update this for me reviews. Does that make me evil? Or just human? But don't get pissed, I made this chapter longer than usual. Yeah, you know you love me.

**Gidget89:** You're officially one of my newest best friends. Jess is one of the more Jess characters, yes. I review chapters backwards sometimes too, it's fun that way. I get bored. Like sometimes when I'm on the laptop I suddenly get very bored and have to move to a new location. I also have to watch or listen to music. Ha, Nicole being sexy. She wishes. I attempt to never fall out of bed because I have a loft bed, and me falling would either result in my squashing my sister's legs and breaking my back or just flat out _dying._ It's okay, I'm not one to hand out restraining orders. I myself have seven. Uh oh, your review was going to be the longest, but you should have seen **L/L R Lobsters**' review. Sorry, but you're second once again. But hers was just insane, you would have won by a mile if she hadn't reviewed.

**Beautifulbutterfly:** Apparently I'm a puppet, so here goes. This Hayley chick rocks, go and read her stories. They aren't as good as this story, but hey, she tries (sometimes :-P).

**Labyrinth:** I hear ya, and get happy, coz this one's a bit longer.

**Epona9009:** I was watching that episode too right then! It's so… intense. Hehe, I know ABC Family does that, I watch it all the time (not to mention GILMORE! Raincoats and Recipes was just on, I was writing this during commercials!). I love writing Jess, he's so funny. And I LOVE writing Kirk because I can be as weird as I want.

**Rusty!** I forgive you for not updating if your brother's getting married. You have a legit excuse, which I can deal with. I'm like laughing at what you wrote. I have the ability to cease operation of other's lungs! I think the entire WORLD will be stuck with Full House until the sun explodes. I loved writing that Kirk part, he's so much fun to write because I have no limits to weirdness.

**L/L r Lobsters**: You're my favorite reviewer I think. I don't know where **Darkness, my cheese**, went, because she used to be the best. Sad how things change. If she ever returns you guys can tie but for now you're the bestest! Woop! Rejoice in this magnificent title. I keep laughing at the accidentally dirty line. "It's hard, Lorelai," he says all whimpery and quivery. "Well, come back when it isn't," she says all mad. That is so funny! I'm sorry, I just can't get over that. We're kind of immature, don't you think? Thanks for the long, in-depth description of your social life this week. Well, I have to go to soccer camp tomorrow so no updating, and I have a birthday party on Friday, and my mom gets back from Thailand around then. There ya go. Your school goes on for so long, I ended on the 10th! This one's less midget-like, so get happy. Hehe, I love Fairly Oddparents. Cosmo is so amusing.

About my Total Coelo thing- **GilmoreGirl5244** got it perfectly! You knew even more about it than me. And I quote: _"I want cupcake points!_ _Total Coelo was a one hit wonder, all girl quintet whose hit song was called "I Eat Cannibals," and in the song they say 'eat me eat you're incredibly delicious'...or something like that lmao."_ I did it because it the song they're all 'incredibly delicious! Incredibly delicious!' So Lorelai says that. I know it was a really random reference but the song was playing right then so I was all, 'Why not confuse my readers with a random, almost out-of-place reference?' Others who got it right include **Kristen, ProFeSseR,** and **LukeNLorelaifan** (Although you googled it and got it, like 80 percent right). So I'll give **Kristen** and **ProFeSseR**10 cupcake points each because they got it right, **GilmoreGirl5244** 12 because she got it uber-right, and **LukeNLorelaifan** 8 because she got it mostly right but used Google. Hehe, look at me handing out points like this. Fun. I should host a game show.

And **ProFeSseR,** that is the most accurate wild guess in the history of wild guesses. That's not even… wild! I know, I'm special because my button (my brain still goes 'dirty!') is different. I don't know why it's white!

**Darkness,** I plead once more- where art thou? I'm going to cry. I miss you.

* * *

**Thank the Cavemen**

Chapter Five: Footsied Terror

Lorelai and Luke entered Luke's apartment. Lorelai gave a sigh. "Why does Kirk have to be so insane? Couldn't he have just taken one day's break from being a freak?"

"If he's going to tell Miss Patty…"

"…then the whole town, including the Poe society and the people who don't even know us, will know within an hour," Lorelai finished.

They both collapsed on the sofa after Luke started the coffee pot up. "Maybe it's easier this way," offered Luke.

"Yeah, it's out of the way. We don't really have to worry about telling the town or keeping it from them- it's just all out in the open," reasoned Lorelai.

Luke smiled and leaned over to kiss her. Perfectly timed, as always, the door flew open.

"Geez!" exclaimed Luke, jerking his head up not unlike Jess had a few minutes earlier. This time, though, it wasn't Kirk.

"Ooooooh, my Lord!" came a high-pitched squeal of glee from the wild-eyed Miss Patty at the door, wearing a lacy nightgown (to Luke's horror) and curlers in her hair. "I came just as soon as I heard."

"Patty, don't you knock?" yelped Luke.

"How on earth could you _possibly_ know already?" cried Lorelai. "Kirk just ran screaming from here less than 5 minutes ago!"

Just then there was some thumping on the stairs and Babette appeared wearing a bathrobe with her hair up in a towel.

"I can't believe it, I thought it wasn't true when that Haddlestat guy told me, but… oh, Lorelai, just look at you in that flannel shirt! Ooh hoo hoo, I can imagine what you two crazy kids have been doing! God, I wish I had your thighs."

"We are just so happy for you two!" shrieked Patty. "We've been waiting for this day for God knows how long!"

Just then Andrew appeared behind them in a nightcap. "I heard it was on the diner counter, Lorelai, but I don't know how reliable a source Gypsy is. Is it true?" Gypsy raced up behind him a few seconds late.

"Don't go questioning my authority! It _was_ on the counter, Andrew, I heard it straight from Taylor who saw the whole thing!"

"Aagh!" moaned Lorelai. "Andrew, you're taking advice form a woman in footsie pajamas?"

"Hey, I have very sensitive feet," snapped Gypsy.

"Taylor did NOT see us on the counter!" snapped Luke.

"So it was on the counter!" Babette clapped her hands with glee. 'I can't wait to tell Mrs. Casini!"

"Too late!" crowed the old woman as she hobbled up the stairs. "Lorelai, you been getting' some from that delicious diner boy? How is he in the sack, eh?"

"We're all dying to know!" said Patty, licking her lips at the sight of the bare-chested man. "Look at those pectoral muscles! Ooh, wouldn't I just like to…" She trailed off with a dirty look on her face. "Mmmmm…"

"Oh God," groaned Lorelai, covering her face with her hands. Luke grabbed his robe from the chair behind him and pulled it on sharply. He wasn't taking any chances with Miss Patty.

"And what happened to Nicole? You two were hot and heavy a few days ago, werentcha?" asked Babette.

"You know, I never liked that woman," declared Mrs. Casini.

"Yeah, too perfect. I hate perfect woman," grumbled the footsied Gypsy.

"So, it WAS on the counter, right?" confirmed Andrew, peeking over Patty's shoulder.

"No! It was not on the counter!"

"But it still happened, right?" said Al worriedly.

"When the hell did you get here, Al?"

"Doll, it couldn't have been on the table," reasoned Babette. "Jess was in the room."

"Ooh, Jess too, even better! Where is that delicious boy, any how?" said Patty.

"My God, people! That is sick, not to mention illegal!" yelled Luke. His mad-o-meter was rising steadily from a relatively normal 5 (pissed off) to a dangerous 9 (furious).

"I think he hid in the storeroom when he saw you coming, Patty," replied Andrew, ignoring Luke.

They needed to shut up before he reached…

"Are you guys into vibrators and stuff or do you just go all natural?"

"Andrew, are you kidding me? Like these two need anything else to _intensify_ their pleasure?"

Yup, that was 10- insanely livid.

"Get OUT! All you people stay out of this! This relationship is between me and Lorelai and we don't need the entire town chiming in and acting like they deserve to know every detail! We will not tell you _anything_ about what we do or WHERE we do it or any of that crazy stuff you people are _yammering_ on about! Get out before my fists have to escort you!"

The room kind of murmured as the exited through the door. "Mr. Sensitive," grumbled Andrew, and Al muttered a quick, "No wonder I get more business than him." Just before the door closed, Miss Patty poked her head around the edge. "Have fun, you two," she giggled mischievously, yanking her head out of the opening before Luke decapitated it as he slammed the door shut.

Luke was breathing heavily. Lorelai came up behind him and began massaging his neck. "This town, huh? One of a kind."

Luke took a deeeeeeep breath and turned around as Lorelai moved her arms to his waist. "They're crazy. That was, like, the Spanish Inquisition, only with curlers and footsie pajamas."

"They care."

"They should mind their own business."

"Well, whatever they do, they can't take away from what _we_ do," smiled Lorelai, nuzzling his neck.

Luke was just relaxing when a knock came from the door. "Oh, for Pete's sake!" bellowed Luke, breaking away from Lorelai.

"Luke…"

Luke opened the door forcefully. "Look, whatever the hell it is you want to… Oh. Rory."

"Love the welcome," she replied, raising her eyebrows. "I just wanted to talk to Mom."

Lorelai approached her. "Oh, Rory, hey."

Rory's eyebrows jumped a little higher. "Nice legs."

Lorelai looked down and her face flushed. "Oh. Right. Uh, Luke, can you…"

"Oh, yeah, sure." Luke smiled a little awkwardly and went downstairs, closing the door behind him.

Rory stood there, looking a little shocked. "I though it was just talk, about you and Luke, but I guess Fred Jr. was right."

Lorelai came closer. "Look, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you right away, but it just happened and I didn't get a chance."

Rory stuttered a little. "Ah, no, that's okay, that wasn't necessary. It's just…wow. You and Luke?"

"Yeah, I know. It's a little weird. But I feel good about it." She smiled. "Really good."

"You do know that this means that, if you break up, we can't eat there anymore."

"I'm not planning on breaking up with him anytime soon," said Lorelai, her mouth curling up.

"These things are never planned," muttered Rory quietly. She looked really uncomfortable.

"Honey, look," said Lorelai, grabbing Rory's hand. "I think this is gonna be different. Luke is special. I feel differently about this one." She smiled. "Believe me, babe."

"Luke loves you," said Rory softly, with a wry grin on her face.

"He does."

"I love you. And I love Luke."

"Oh, hon," she said, wrapping her daughter in a big hug. "I love you so much." She pulled back, smoothing her daughter's hair. "So, are you sure you're okay with this?"

Rory smiled. "If it's good for you, then it's _really_ good for me." She hugged her mom again. "We've been waiting for this for so long, you know."

"I know."

"How long did it take for the town to attack you this morning? Fifteen minutes?"

"Ahaha, you underestimate them. Less than five, my friend."

"Wow. Kirk must have gotten a new inhaler." The girls giggled.

Just then there came a knock at the door. "Lorelai? Rory?"

"Come in, Luke," called Rory.

He entered anxiously. "Everything okay?"

Lorelai grinned. "Oh yeah, just fine."

"I'm gonna go downstairs and talk to Jess," said Rory, kissing her mom on the cheek. "Have fun, but not too much fun. There will be two impressionable teenagers downstairs."

"Oh, it's okay, we're pretty quiet. That is, if we use the duct tape."

"Aw, geez!" flew from both Rory and Luke's mouths.

"I'm going," announced Rory. "I want to stay as innocent as I am now."

"Yeah, so do I," called Lorelai after Rory as she disappeared down the stairs.

Lorelai turned and locked the door. "Can you hear that noise?"

"What noise?"

She smiled mischievously. "Exactly." Luke came closer with a grin and wrapped his arms around her waist, moaning into her neck.

"I love it when you grunt like that. You sound like a caveman." Lorelai started giggling.

"What, do you have a thing for cavemen?"

'I do now."

"Care to elaborate?" Luke asked, kissing up her jaw.

"Well, we all know that the cavemen discovered fire, right?"

"Right." Sucking on her earlobe.

"And fire is what burned the inn down."

"Very true." Doing God knows what to her ear with his tongue.

"And though the fire at the inn seems unfortunate, it's what led me to your door last night."

"Mmmm." Down the collar of her- well, his- shirt.

"So really, we should _thank_ the cavemen for putting us in this extremely pleasurable situation."

"Lorelai, don't you know when to stop talking?"

She smiled. "Now seems good."

* * *

Okay, I'm done! That's it for this fic. Hey, don't cry so hard, you'll mess up the keyboard. Oh my God, I have a story about that. Okay, so once I spilled water on the keyboard and it was COMPLETELY messed up, like, none of the letters worked at all. My dad took all the keys off and cleaned it and put em back on, and it was practically perfect. Except! When you pressed the 'r' it would be 'rt-' same with 4 (45), f (fg), and v (vb)! It was very annoying. But that wasn't even the worst part! Coz you think, oh, I'll just press 'delete' after those letters. Sounds easy, no? But the delete button was messed up, too! Whenever I pressed 'delete' it would go to that application's help. On AOL and AIM it was fine, I just put the little help box in the corner of the screen! But the real problem was AppleWorks (it's an old computer). The help box was in a whole different application (HelpViewer or something). So for about, what, 6 months, I had to write all my homework on STICKIES! That application that's like digital sticky notes! Yeah, I'm writing essays on sticky notes. Finally it got fixed, but whenever I used a normal computer, everything would be messed up, because it became first nature to press delete after typing an r, f, v, or 4! I was totally screwed up for months.

That was for all the rambles you'll be missing until I start my new fic. Which I will do, pretty soon. Ow, I just hit my face on the computer. That hurt.

And hey, just because this is the last chapter, that does NOT, under ANY circumstances, mean that you should not review it! Because shout-outs for last chapters can transfer onto new fics. I do it. And I'm always open to suggestions because I'm delightful like that.

Well, it's been fun. I hope I've been able to occupy your time for a little with my rambling. I know it took up a lot of mine. So you better appresh.


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